13 August 2016
Planning a Wedding is a Lot Like Dying: Kübler-Ross Vs Pinterest
In 1969, psychiatrist, Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, proposed that there were 5 stages of dying; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. A lot of wedding blogs will have you believe that wedding planning is the most magical time in your life, but the truth is, wedding planning is a lot like dying.
Sweet, sweet denial. Denial comes in the form of thousands of beautiful pins on your wedding Pinterest Board.
Wall of white roses?
Pin to board.
Large frosted branches you can DIY?
Pin to board, caption: “omg these look amazing! So easy too!”
How to budget for your wedding?
Pin now, read later.
Denial is the first phase of wedding planning and it’s like a daydream on steroids. It’s the time you let your imagination run wild. Enjoy this moment in time where you make word clouds instead of lists, where people’s opinions feel helpful instead of “helpful” and a time where every dream could be a reality.
She always dreamed of the perfect wedding. Image Credit: Warner Bros (Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride)
Turning dreams into reality is a difficult process, which leads us to -
Anger sets in slowly, usually after setting your wedding budget. Click by click on your gorgeous pins, the soul-crushing prices fuel your rage (especially when you realise the price isn’t even in AUD!) Every hot glue gun burn from your Pinterest fail further ignites your fury. Each beautiful pin that was once a dream is now narrated by a cynical voice in the back of your head, quietly muttering, “Let me guess, it’s a bajillion dollars?”
Some brave individuals may call you a bridezilla during this phase; they may even live to tell the tale. Perhaps these people have never planned a wedding. Perhaps they have enough money that they never felt the sting of not being able to afford your dreams. Perhaps your dreams are a little out of control.
In any case, you persevere, spending hours searching for ways to have the wedding of your Pinterest dreams at an affordable price which leads to -
Picture this: it’s 2 am, your fiancé is soundly asleep, there is an empty wine glass on the dresser and your laptop/phone is a beacon in the darkness. Several things happen during the bargaining phase:
- You have looked at so many extremely expensive items, that numbers no longer have meaning and anything that isn’t four figures is a “bargain”.
- It’s 2am and you have had one or five glasses of wine – that little cynical voice from the anger phase is drunk and saying “treat yourself! You deserve it!” and you purchase something extremely expensive.
- You analyse any way in which you can cut the budget in other areas to get that one thing you really love, leading to -
Whether you are opening up your bank statement to have it reveal your drunken extravagant purchase, or confirmation of all the Pinterest dreams that will never be, this is the worst phase.
It is the realisation that you are a normal person who cannot afford a $10,000 wall of flowers. It’s the resignation of knowing that your hair will need 2 sets of extensions, a hair sponge, 3 hours of curl setting and so many bobby pins to create that “natural, messy up-do” that you may never remove them all.
But it also brings the recognition of the beautiful things that aren’t out of your price range, which brings you to -
This stage is the magical stuff wedding blogs are always talking about. Everything falls into place the second you stop reading articles that dictate the ‘10 wedding pics you must get’ or the ‘21 things you must do before your wedding’.
This is a time to log off and daydream about the things that will make your wedding beautiful; the things Pinterest can’t tell you about:
Like the look on your fiancé’s face when you walk down the aisle.
Like the very brief moment you will have together after the ceremony giggling in disbelief over the fact that you just got married.
Like the overwhelming joy of seeing the people you love dancing and laughing at your reception.
This is the stuff real dreams are made of.
Owner and Creator behind Forests of Wildflowers
Paige lives in the Southern Highlands, NSW with her husband and Labrador puppy. She specialises in creating bridal hairpieces for her shop Forests of Wildflowers. In her spare time she enjoys writing, reading and a nice glass of wine.
Store: Forests of Wildflowers