29 January 2016
Back to School
Ok, let’s be honest! The first day of school will usually bring tears; mummy tears. Be they tears of joy for getting back some kid-free time, or tears of sorrow at the fact that your little ones aren’t so little anymore, mummy tears are pretty much inevitable.
This time of year you will see articles and blogs galore, entitled ‘First Day of School’ and ‘Back to School’, with all kinds of lists on what to pack, how to pack and when to do it. There’ll be lots of information on how you can prepare your child but little on how we, as mums, get through it.
As I looked all over the interwebs, I came across a very honest, (right up my alley) and funny, (of course it was funny, Em Rusciano wrote it) blog about being that “anxious, hysterical Mother”.
The first tip from Em is to get up early so you can have a good cry in private. She eloquently advises that getting up before everyone else ensures that “you can really snot it up, heave and lay in the foetal position without emotionally scarring your children. May I suggest a pile of towels in the laundry as your cry spot; that has worked well for me over the years.” There. That feels better, doesn’t it?
“Why must they grow up so quick, and what happened to my stash of emergency Tim Tams?”
The next step in your first-day adventure, is to make sure you are looking amazing, “but not too amazing as those kind of standards are hard to maintain and no-one likes a show-off.” It’s important to feel good, but not to set the bar too high… we’ve got a whole term to get through people! And don’t think that your little cry in the laundry was the last one for the day, so waterproof makeup is your best friend. Em’s recommendation? “Get that synchronised swimmer shit, the stuff that wouldn’t move during a hurricane in a wind tunnel during an earthquake.”
So you have said your goodbyes and have hopefully made it back to the car without the other mummies realising you are actually, in fact, an ugly crier. But what now? Now is that time to attack that to do list. The cleaning, the organising, that hair appointment you have put off and rescheduled for months, a sneaky, but heavenly, uninterrupted nap, (although don’t forget to set an alarm – not a good look being late for pick-up on your first day). Or, in my case, it’s time for an entire day catching up on my Netflix: couch marathon here I come! Truth be told, I’ll probably get ‘the guilts’ half-way through and maybe put on a load of washing, maybe unpack the dishwasher. Who knows? All I know is it’s going to be a crazy kids-free day with ups and downs. I’m going to do my very best to try to enjoy it. Woohoo!
For more of Em’s first day of school tips, you can check out her original blog here
Em Rusciano is a comedian, writer and singer. You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, or listen to her podcast. Tickets for her latest tour, ‘Not a Diva’, have just gone on sale.
Meredith (a.k.a. “Honest Dave”)
Creative coach, pixel perfectionist and handmade obsessed.
Store: Dee Dub Designs